The Problem: Most People Ignore Their Relational Gut Trigger

Here’s the expectation vs reality:

• Expectation: “I’ll just fix my diet, take a probiotic, and my gut will be healed.”

• Reality: “I’m eating clean, doing all the things, but my gut still rebels.”

Why? Because you’re ignoring the relational dimension. You may have…

• A top five circle filled with complainers, victims, people stuck in scarcity.

• People you listen to on podcasts or read who drain you more than they elevate you.

• A spouse/partner or roommates whose stress you absorb every day.

When your top five aren’t aligned to your values and gut health goals—your body pays. Your nervous system stays in defensive mode. Your digestion stalls. Your hormones mis‐fire. It doesn’t matter how many labs you run—if your relational soil is toxic, your gut will struggle.

I see this over and over in my practice at Better Belly Therapies: women cleaning up everything—food, supplements, lifestyle—yet still battling bloating, gut pain, fatigue. I realized: we weren’t talking about WHO they spend time with and how those relationships are wired. So I made relational health a pillar of gut healing.

How to Evaluate & Curate Your Top 5 for Optimal Gut Health

Ready to take action? Good. Here are the steps:

1. Write down your current top five people

• People you spend time with, talk with, listen to.

• This includes authors, podcasters, leaders, your boss, your spouse, roommates.

• Just write the names. Don’t judge yet—just list.

2. Ask three killer questions (courtesy of John C. Maxwell)

• What kind of thinking do they exhibit? (Positive vs negative, abundance vs scarcity)

• Do they add value or subtract value?

• Do they do what they say? Are they people of integrity and action?

3. Identify gaps

• Which relational categories are missing? Maybe you need a relational leader, mental–health model, spiritual guide, physical health / athletic model.

• Fill those gaps intentionally. Maybe an author you follow, a mentor you call, someone you spend real time with.

4. Replace toxic or neutral influences

If someone on your top five:

• Consistently drains you

• Upholds values you don’t want

• Has little relational health or leadership
  → they’re costing you gut healing. Make space.

5. Model the new responses

Because of neuroplasticity and nerve‑gut links, you want to practice the new way of being. Surround yourself with people whose responses you want to mirror—and practice reflecting those patterns. Calm under stress, healthy boundaries, respectful communication.
Your gut literally says: “This environment is safe—I can digest.” Or “This environment is toxic—I shut down.”

My Top 5 & Why They Matter

To make this real, here are my current top five and why they got there. You can use this as a blueprint.

• My pastors, Jordan & Christie: I watched one day Jordan kneel, look his son in the eyes and say: “Son, I modelled poorly in the car today. I apologise.” That hit me hard. I said, I want more of this. Relational clarity. Humility. Leadership.

• Natalie MacNeil (of Biz Chicks Inc.): I tapped into her podcast because I needed mindset help while building my business. I needed leadership, I needed someone beyond my anxious self‑talk.

• Graham Cook (of Brilliant Perspectives): I listen daily (5‑15 min) to shift my brain, renew my mind (Romans 12:2). That neuro‑shift = gut‑shift.

• My husband Jay: I knew before marrying that I had to approve him—character, values, integrity. And when I hung out with him, my gut felt calm. That told me we were aligned.

• God / Holy Spirit: Spirit matters. Internal leadership matters. When I listen to Him, my gut changes. I let someone wiser lead, and my nervous system relaxes.

Whatever your list looks like—make it aligned. Don’t leave it to chance.

Gut‑Healthy Relationships: The Unconventional Root‑Cause You’ve Overlooked

Here’s the no‑fluff truth: when your relational circle is neglected, your gut suffers. It’s not just low‑acid, SIBO, or mold‑toxins. The signals your brain sends through the vagus nerve depend on your relationships too.

You might think: “I’ll handle diet, I’ll handle supplements.” But ask yourself:

• Are the people I spend most time with models of peace or models of drama?

• Do I catch negative tapes in my head from my inner circle?

• Do I absorb stress by default because I don’t choose my relational environment?

This is where gut healing becomes full‑system. You’ll fix digestion—but if you remain in relational toxicity, the healing won’t last. It’s like patching a leak without replacing the rotten window frame.

So let’s get radical: curating your top five is a gut‑health strategy.